Surviving My Mother's Death. Part 8

It felt like it was just a dream but more like a nightmare. That is the description of October 2019-May 2021. There are times I wake up and hope that it was just that, a bad dream and my mother is still here. The pain and emptiness that I feel seems to never fully leave, not even for a full day. I can be enjoying a TV show on Prime, watching a haul on YouTube or just shopping for decor at TJMaxx and Marshall's and in the middle of enjoying myself, there is a sense like I am missing something. MOM.

That is OK. There is nothing wrong with missing your loved one while still trying to somehow enjoy things in Life. It is part of the normal stages of grieving. Well, at least to me it is normal. Don't ignore it but find a way to make time for both. Find a way to just BE!

Sherri M. Littleton

For Yesterday's Post:

https://sherrimlittleton.blogspot.com/2021/05/surviving-my-mothers-death-part-7.html

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How I am dealing with my Mother's Death- one year and a half later.

Mother's Day has gone by and it was just as painful as it was last year, during the beginning stages of the pandemic. It just sucked. There is no sugar coating about it. Not having my mother, my protector and my best friend here with me is hard but having the constant reminders of that day with ads in the stores and online made it worse. Then I realized there are so many people that are probably feeling this way but feel bad saying it out loud. Well, I don't. Losing my rock, motivator and loving protector will probably never get better. But, I realized that I no longer have to put on a facade for others to prevent from bringing them down. That is not my job or anyone's job that lost their mother to make other's feel comfortable. So, I started this blog for those of us in this particularly 'special club' that nobody wants to be in but we are here. Now the question is how do we survive being members? -Sherri M. Littleton 5/17/2021

My Mother's Only Child. Cornbread Dressing

For the first time since my mother's death 4 years ago, I made a decision to cook at home and not participate in a Friendsgiving this year. I have some of the loveliest people in my inner circle that have truly been there for me, but I needed to cook and recreate my mother's dishes. So that is what I did. I made a complete Thanksgiving dinner, like I've done many times before, but just for me. Although that may seem lonely for some, I delighted in prepping the same way my mother would for the holidays. I got up early in the morning, started on the pie and chopped the veggies, marinated the meat and made the sides. I was humming the entire time and loved it. But something different was that I added a bit of my grandmother's recipe into the dressing. I used celery, not celery salt but actually celery. Anyone that knows me understands how much I usually cannot stand the taste of celery. It was to the point that my mother stopped using it all together. But this year,

My Mother's Only Child. Macaroni and Cheese

As an only child, my mother would often make meals from scratch to suit both of our taste. However, as a kid, I was a picky eater. It was really difficult for me to try new things because I liked certain dishes more than others and wouldn't agree to anything else. As most kids, I loved mac n cheese. But specifically, I loved my mom's baked mac n cheese, to the point I wouldn't dare eat anyone else's. I remember as a kid, everyone at our Baptist church and my mom's government job requested my mom's baked mac n cheese for potluck dinners. I refused to eat my friends' mothers box mac n cheese and only would trust a few family members recipes including my grandma and moms' sisters to also make it right. It even got to a point where my father remarried and tried to guilt me into saying his new wife mac n cheese was better than my mother's dish. I refused because even though I was a kid I knew I wasn't going to lie, especially about cooking.

SherriMLittleton

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