SherriMLittleton

      It is important to remember your support circle and NOT deal with everything on your own after the lost of someone.  For me, I am blessed with a supporting group of family and friends, including my mother's closest group of co workers, and church members.  But, I had to learn that I must allow their help as well.     After my Mother died, I went into robot mode trying to complete things the way she would have done it and all at once. That was one of my first mistakes because not only did I not allow myself to grieve properly,  because I was on the go constantly taking care of things, I didn't take time to Breathe. Let others help you and BREATHE! Sherri M. Littleton For Yesterday's Blog: https://sherrimlittleton.blogspot.com/2021/05/surviving-my-mothers-death-part-9.html  

      One day I was writing in my journal the thoughts of the day and I found myself writing to my Mom. Then I continued to do that so much that I decided to purchase a specific journal just for that.  It was such a smart idea to purchase a beautiful journal, seeing as my Mother was my best friend, it made sense to write all of my thoughts down.       It may seem weird to some but others will understand because it lifts a sadness that is unbelievably hard, even just for a few minutes.  Go to Michael's Craft Store (or something similar) pick the journal that best represents you, your loved one and the relationship you had with them. For me, it was something very feminine and solid that represented both my Mother and I. It is part of my healing process to write in it whenever I need to vent, cry and even express good news that ONLY she would understand.  My version of DEAR MAMA. Sherri M. Littleton For Yesterday's Blog: https://sherrimlittleton.blogspot.com/2021/05/surviving-my-m

     It felt like it was just a dream but more like a nightmare. That is the description of October 2019-May 2021. There are times I wake up and hope that it was just that, a bad dream and my mother is still here. The pain and emptiness that I feel seems to never fully leave, not even for a full day. I can be enjoying a TV show on Prime, watching a haul on YouTube or just shopping for decor at TJMaxx and Marshall's and in the middle of enjoying myself, there is a sense like I am missing something. MOM.     That is OK. There is nothing wrong with missing your loved one while still trying to somehow enjoy things in Life. It is part of the normal stages of grieving. Well, at least to me it is normal. Don't ignore it but find a way to make time for both. Find a way to just BE! Sherri M. Littleton For Yesterday's Post: https://sherrimlittleton.blogspot.com/2021/05/surviving-my-mothers-death-part-7.html

     So I was thinking how I accomplished certain goals dealing with the aftermath of my mom's sudden departure. Dealing with hospitals, insurance policies and other paperwork can be taxing on anyone experiencing a major loss at the same time.  The mental gymnastics one must go through to suppress their grief while solely dealing with everything can stress out the strongest person, which I was not.  I don't think enough people discuss this part of surviving a loved ones death. When you are the only child of a parent, all of that work falls into your lap and no amount of opinions will help.       I am saying this to those who may be in similar situations. Pace yourself and do only what is necessary first and then the rest will fall into place. I recently had a few things finally completed 1 year and a half later and I am OK with that because that was God's timing. It still got done and I am grateful I stopped thinking I was  on a timeline to accomplish all things at once. 

      A week ago, I started my blog to help me deal with the aftermath of my Mother's death. It was to help me help others grieve with the use of creativity. That is the point of this blog. It is my outlet and I am using it to manifest healing for the situation.  In doing so, I've been contacted by people who lost a family member and was told this blog is indeed helping them.  I am overjoyed to know this and will continue this public process of dealing with my Mother's death.      I recall a memory of one of my art projects at a Christian school I attended. As a kid, in Christian schools we were taught songs to understand the sacrifice God made for us. So, as a teenager, I remembered one of the songs while prepping for an art project and I drew (freehand) the depiction of it. Lyrics: "Jesus went to calvary To save a wrench Like you and me That's love, that's love. They hung him high They stretched him wide He hung his head, for me he died That's love, that&

     " Privacy Doesn't Mean Silence. " That is the quote I just heard from Oprah this morning promoting the series, "The Me You Can't See" with Prince Harry. Wow was that right on time. I needed this. There was another gentleman that also talked about his mother's sudden death and wow, I don't feel alone in my anger, frustration and sadness. It leads to a strength in creativity to deal with it all.      I am grateful I have a supporting network of family and friends but it doesn't erase the emptiness I feel without my wonderful mother. I am blessed that I was able to tell her those things while she was alive and even more grateful she did the same.  Honestly, that is the main thing that keeps me sane.  I must live my life for my mother, to honor her memory in everything I do.  My mother was mostly private, but I am not silent and my creativity is my therapy. -Sherri M. Littleton Yesterday's post https://sherrimlittleton.blogspot.com/2021/05/s

      Yesterday I was thinking about the many times my mom encouraged my creativity as a child. But when I became an Adult, she admired it. Often she would say I could see the things, the bigger picture, whereas others could not.  Writing this blog is one aspect of my journey in understanding my mother's death and dealing with my new life without her.     For those that also lost their mothers recently, the type of pain mixed with anxiety to carry on the promises made to them can be quite heavy. But what I suggest is to find something creative that can help you live and honor their memory, the bigger picture . -Sherri M. Littleton For Yesterday's Post  https://sherrimlittleton.blogspot.com/2021/05/surviving-my-mothers-death-part-3.html

      As I type this blog entry, I am reminded of who I am and how I was raised. My mother would regularly bring home posters and news paper articles of inventors and entrepreneurs who were Black, not just during Black History Month, but throughout the year.   As a kid, I would put up the posters on my bedroom door, right next to my favorite entertainer at that time.      See, it was OK to admire my favorite pop/rap/r&b star. However, I must also admire those that were successful in education, politics and business. I recall having a 12 month poster that had Black inventors, with a different person each month.  As a kid, I didn't completely understand or even appreciate the seeds my Mom was planting in me. I get it Mom. I get it. -Sherri M. Littleton For Yesterday's Blog. https://sherrimlittleton.blogspot.com/2021/05/surviving-my-mothers-death-blog-series.html

     Yesterday I decided that it was time for me to put my feelings in writing and go back to one of my passions, blogging. It's been years but here goes.       As my mother's only child, there was nothing that she wouldn't do for me. I'm sure others who were born to great mothers would understand this but especially those of us that were the only children of our parents union. After my parent's divorce, my mother made it a point to nurture my creativity at an early age while also focusing on a need for higher education. In doing so, I was surrounded by books and magazines focused on successful women in many industries.  The main point: there are no limits. For Yesterday's Blog https://sherrimlittleton.blogspot.com/2021/05/how-i-am-dealing-with-my-mothers-death.html

     Mother's Day has gone by and it was just as painful as it was last year, during the beginning stages of the pandemic. It just sucked. There is no sugar coating about it. Not having my mother, my protector and my best friend here with me is hard but having the constant reminders of that day with ads in the stores and online made it worse.        Then I realized there are so many people that are probably feeling this way but feel bad saying it out loud. Well, I don't. Losing my rock, motivator and loving protector will probably never get better. But, I realized that I no longer have to put on a facade for others to prevent from bringing them down. That is not my job or anyone's job that lost their mother to make other's feel comfortable.      So, I started this blog for those of us in this particularly 'special club' that nobody wants to be in but we are here.  Now the question is how do we survive being members? -Sherri M. Littleton 5/17/2021